A few days ago, I had the inspiration to write a nicely sarcastic post about the scheming that is going on unabated here in our little harmoniously developing village.
Before that, I had already started another kind of post. A serious, non-sarcastic one, probably very dry and boring. But with a message that I also feel a strong push to put out. Still, it got stalled due to whatever circumstances.
And then my computer was having internal storage issues and the whole thing got lost. No way to retrieve it: the text was on my screen (partially), but not saved, and an error message was blocking me from accessing it. Non-stop trying to close the error message while clicking the 'save' button at the same time did nothing to help: bye-bye nice new post.
Feel free to consider me even more insane than you already do, but I do take such happenings as signs. There was no reason for this to happen, it never happened before, and well, I don't believe in a world governed by Almighty Coincidence. So I got the distinct feeling that I was not supposed to write that story. The part of me that enjoys sarcasm strongly doubts this conclusion, but well, I didn't have the inspiration to start it all again. When the flow has flown, it has flown away. It may come back one day, who knows, but that generally takes a while.
Before that, I had already started another kind of post. A serious, non-sarcastic one, probably very dry and boring. But with a message that I also feel a strong push to put out. Still, it got stalled due to whatever circumstances.
And then, totally out of the blue, I find a message on my wall from my friend Jack, an “old-timer” former Aurovilian who I've met several times here, and whose son and daughter-in-law came to live here with their kids at the same time I arrived.
His message tied in neatly with my unfinished post, and so I felt a push to get back to that one.
Here's the message and my reply and his reply and my reply to his reply. And in part B is the post that I had started to write, and now completed.
“Dear Lieve,
I had to admit to myself recently that I have an inexplicable affection for you. Something that goes to the core of being an Aurovilian perhaps*. In any case, even if you frequently make me wince and cringe, there is in me a deep brotherly love for you…..There I said it!
This is regardless of not being “for” anything, and rarely being civil with your speech.
This is regardless of your insulting other old friends of mine.
We are on the opposite sides of the moon or whatever metaphor works for you, but this affection resides.
Jack”
“My dear Jack, I have affinity for everyone here. The point I'm trying to make but that gets somehow not seen much, is that I am not talking about individuals.
Sometimes individuals are key in certain actions, but the fact that actions are allowed and accepted is always a COLLECTIVE “non-decision”, if I may invent a word here. Maybe for a very few it is a conscious decision, but for most, it will be simply something that happens automatically: the herd mentality makes it like that.
This is the core of what I'm trying to get above the table: in spite of everything that we may have experienced personally, Auroville has so far been a horrible group-bullying for many, many, MANY people. The most horrendous things have happened here. I'm not joking and I'm not exaggerating. It's so far from the narrative that I cannot even openly speak about these things, but yes, they have happened, and what Auroville presently is, is the direct result of all of that darkness.
I can only repeat: I can give everyone a hug. If they want or need it: I'll hug them.
I'll work with all people, if the work is done in the setting of honesty and acknowledgement of reality. Which is a hard nut to crack in a world based on falsehood: how can we agree on what reality is, when we are trained like circus dogs to be scared to death of reality, and to abuse falsehood for our own benefit?
But anyway: much love from me to you and Mary!”
“I’m smiling in my kitchen while having breakfast…. what a lovely present! May I suggest you use this post or some of it as a declaration of love, and as a preface to your future posts ;-) Sometimes you scare and hurt people (if I can be direct)”
“Jack, I am the last person who can justifiably object to being direct :-D”
__________________ * I didn't react to it in my comment, but when I read it now, I think it has more to do with being human, and feeling the oneness of humanity, which really goes beyond all opinions and convictions and beliefs. We are all based in the Divine, deep inside, and humanity is reaching the stage in which it becomes inevitable to not feel this deep throb from the bottom of our being.
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